One-in-a-Million Minute

WOULD YOU STEP INTO THE BREAST....I MEAN THE BREACH?

2012-02-05T06:06:00.000-08:00

2/04/12

OK, forgive the title. But I know you have been following the whole Susan G. Komen/Planned Parenthood controversy. So tell me, would you forgive them? Would you pretend it never happened?

Well, no matter your answer, let’s think about all of this for a minute. There are many who have said that “charity” or “medical care” should not be political. Come on. Really? It is often political. In the US, public health care is a political football. And indeed, many charities are not secular in nature. Let’s face it, there are catholic charities, jewish charities, African American, Hispanic, all sorts of charities that are belief driven (not to be confused with mission driven). So, up to this point in time, SGK has been very explicit about their mission (basically to eradicate breast cancer), but has not been so explicit about their beliefs. That is, until a couple of days ago. They, defacto, declared their belief to be Pro-Life. Now, I saw the founder of SGK, Nancy Brinker, on television the day before the “switchback”, and let me tell you, the level of rationalization and soft-speak rivaled the slickest most unprincipled politico. Even after a defacto declaration, she was unwilling to own it.

I am not going to weigh in on the issue of Pro-Life/Pro-Choice, because that isn’t the point here. What I see here is the leadership of a very substantial charity with a very laudable mission who lack principle. Had they come out and said, as a Board, we do not support abortion and therefore cannot support Planned Parenthood, I may or may not be aligned with them, but I would have respected their principles. But what did they do? They double-spoke, and ultimately caved, not because of a change of belief, but because of money. They were losing support (and therefore money) at an alarming rate, and they lacked the principle to stand up for their values, and lacked the principle to accept the consequences.

And therefore, no matter your view; whether you agree or disagree with their beliefs, this is not an organization worth supporting. And I’m not saying that we shouldn’t support the cause. We should just make sure that we support the cause through other charitable organizations.

And remember, there is a lesson here for all of us as individuals: Wear your beliefs on your sleeve. Celebrate them. Accept the consequences of those beliefs and earn the respect of everyone.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 2 – The Gift, Chapter 3 – Luke….Use the Force; Chapter 8 – You Always Have Choices)

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE CHRISTMAS TIME....

2012-01-08T09:22:00.000-08:00

1/06/12

Happy New Year! Don’t you find, sometimes, that holidays are a time for strange encounters? Sometimes good, sometimes bad, but most times eye-opening. I remember writing about one last year that embodied the holiday spirit (see “Lots of Heart” at www.be1inamillion.blogspot.com). This year, well, not so much. In fact, I had two somewhat similar experiences. Each experience was in the midst of the holiday season and each of them was disconcerting in and of itself. But it was my reaction to each that I want to talk to you about. So let me tell you about them:

For the first encounter, I was at Lavo, a Restaurant/Bar on 58^th between Park and Madison, having holiday drinks with a friend of mine. I had to visit the men’s room and as I entered, two men preceded me. Now the men’s room was not large. Two “stand-up” stations and one “sit-down”. The guys who got there before me went to the stand up spots, which left me with the sit-down station (even though I only needed to stand-up). One guy says to the other guy; “I took my staff out to lunch today, and it cost me 500 bucks. 500 bucks of my own money for lunch for a bunch of retards”. “How much does 500 retard dollars buy?” the other guys says. And they proceed to talk back and forth like this until I step out of the stall.

For the second encounter, I was at 60^th and Amsterdam, walking back to my apartment. There was a couple slightly ahead of me. A well dressed distinguished looking man in his 60’s, and a well dressed, slightly younger woman beside him. He was on his cell phone and as I walked past them (I was walking faster), I heard him say “I’m standing beside a f*#king moron, and you know who that is, who has no clue where she is going.” After he gets off the phone, he continued to verbally abuse her. She said very softly “you need help” to which he replied “I need help? I’m the most self-sufficient guy there is. I don’t need help with anything.”

So how do you think I reacted? And how would you react? Honestly – what do you think you would do?

Well, in the men’s room, as I went to the sink to wash my hands, I kinda pushed one of the guys out of the way. He said “Hey! What are you doing? I’m using the sink?” Well, now that WE were engaged in a conversation, I let him know what I heard and what I thought. Very expressively by the way (my first job out of university was in a factory, so I know how to cuss someone out rather forcefully). They actually both apologized, and I stepped out of the men’s room leaving them there to wonder what the hell had happened, and feeling pretty good about myself.

And on the street? Well, I did nothing. That’s right. Nothing. And I still feel terribly about that.

You see, we can tell ourselves that some things are none of our business. And to be sure, some things are. But when people are being abused or denigrated, or otherwise harmed in some way, we should make it our business. You can pick the arena: business, politics, religion, sports, entertainment, education, everywhere. There are stark examples of bad things being done to people that no one confronts. And whether it’s the “it’s none of my business excuse” or any other excuse, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR INACTION. And I can tell you, what happened on 60^th street that day between Christmas and New Year’s will not happen to me again. I will intervene every time from now on.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 2 – The Gift, Chapter 3 – Luke….Use the Force)

FOOL ME ONCE....

2011-12-10T09:31:00.000-08:00

12/10/11

Have you been following the political banter lately? You would swear the presidential election is only days away with the amount of campaign activity both within the Republican Party (for the nomination) and by the President himself. There is a “real” unemployment rate of more than 16% in the United States, and the only thing these politicians are worried about is their own election campaigns.

The last Presidential election was the very first Presidential election wherein I was eligible to vote. I was both very happy and very proud to do so. This time: Not so much. Why you ask? Well, the short answer is, there is absolutely no one on either ticket that I want to cast my vote for. But let me break it down for you:

To be sure, the Republican ticket is up for grabs. But have you seen this cast of miscreants who are vying for the nomination? Unless Jon Huntsman rises like a phoenix from the ashes, it will only be a question of which circus sideshow character gets the nod. And to that point, the Republican Party as a whole has lost their way. The party that once stood for less government structure and less involvement in citizens’ lives now believes in less government services and repealing the separation of church and state provision in the Constitution (ok – I exaggerate, but not very much).

Now to the Democratic ticket, which we know will be Barack Obama. Hmmm. Let’s think about this. In 2008 he ran on a platform of “Change we can believe in” and “Yes we can”. Well, NO YOU DIDN’T! Let’s face it, the problems with Wall Street, the nation’s income disparity, and the unbalanced systemic practices that allow the rich to get richer while the middle gets poorer, all existed prior to him taking office. But his promises led to an expectation that these things would change. So what did he do? He continued and in fact exacerbated the revolving door between Washington and Wall Street; he passed a slew of financial regulations that are nuisance over substance (By the way – the only way to fix Wall Street is to fix incentives up and down Wall Street. You see, you actually do get what you pay for); there has not been one marquis Wall Street executive indicted let alone convicted (and by marquis I mean executives from Lehman, Citi, Goldman, etc.); there has been nothing done to reign in lobbyists or control so-called “campaign” contributions; and there is no sign that he has even tried to ameliorate any of these issues. Now, it appears as though his 2012 campaign slogan is “Change is….” and he iterates all of what he perceives as his accomplishments. Well Mr. President, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice… well, you’re not going to fool this voter twice. I think an accurate 2012 campaign slogan would be “Change is…. NOT going to happen if you re-elect me”.

So, that’s why I’m really not looking forward to casting my vote next November. There really isn’t anyone currently in the game who I believe is worthy of my vote. It really is a sad and dire situation. We, as a country, and indeed as a developed world, have some very big problems. Yet, we are either unwilling or unable to deal with them. We are sticking our collective heads in the sand. It makes me wonder if a bunch of Romans were sitting around at the turn of the first millennium saying to each other “damn, things are going to hell in a hand basket…. I wonder what’s playing at the Colosseum tonight.” Are we witnessing the end of an empire? I sure hope not, because I do love this, my adopted, country. But I don’t see the leader we need, on the landscape we have.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 2 – The Gift, Chapter 3 – Luke….Use the Force)

BLOOMBERG AND HUNTSMAN CHANGE COURSE

2011-11-19T11:41:00.000-08:00

11/19/11

So I’m having dinner at my local Italian restaurant last night and who do I see having dinner together a couple of tables over? Yep, you guessed it: Mike Bloomberg, Mayor of New York City; and Jon Huntsman, former Governor of Utah and Ambassador to China, and current candidate for the Republican presidential nomination.

They were engaged in rather animated conversation much of the evening and as they wrapped up, it was clear that one of them was running for something; and I don’t mean to catch a train out of Grand Central. Huntsman took the opportunity to engage other patrons in some casual conversation and of course, the honorable mayor couldn’t resist doing the same (even though the only thing he was running for was his black suv waiting outside).

Anyhow, as they were glad-handing their way out of the establishment, they shook my hand, and I couldn’t resist giving each of them a piece of advice that I thought they both desperately needed:

Mike. You’re really not looking so good handling these Occupy Wall Streeters. You’re in “no man’s land”. For those who think OWS is made up of a bunch of ne’er do well lazy bastards, well, you’re just plain not doing enough to get rid of them. For those who support them or have some sympathy for them, you’re being way too heavy handed. Pick a side my friend. I, for one, don’t think this is going away anytime soon. Mike. I’m told you have some organizational skills and a reasonable intellect. Help them. Get them to establish some leadership structure; help them self-filter to eliminate the criminal element and those ne’er do wells that are present; help them refine their message; help them with targeting (Wall Street is just off the bulls-eye, but hint, it does start with a “W”). You can do this. You’ll be a hero.

Jon. Admittedly I don’t know you as well as I know the honorable Mayor, but you seem like a smart person who has done a lot. You’ve run a company, been a Governor, a diplomat, and a presidential staffer. In the party’s current state, a successful nominee is almost unelectable. The “far right, holy-er than thou, punish the poor and let me tell you how to live your life” party members are ensuring that any nominee acceptable to them (and therefore the successful nominee for the party overall), will not be acceptable to the American public at large. And, all of the other normal and smart potential nominees have deduced that, and opted-out. Chris Christie figured that out and evidence the fact that there are more mixed nuts on the GOP nominee slate than there are in a can of Planter’s. So come on, you don't belong in that group, either run as an independent or start a new party. But no matter what: dump the GOP.

Of course, they each thanked me for my advice, mumbled something about security, and moved along. So here I sit, anxiously waiting to read their respective Monday morning press releases. By the way Mike, Jon, no need for any public acknowledgement.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 2 – The Gift, Chapter 3 – Luke….Use the Force)

JUSTIN BIEBER NEW REPUBLICAN FRONT-RUNNER

2011-11-09T16:35:00.000-08:00

You’ve heard the saying before……A week is a lifetime in politics. And this past week or two is testament to that. Two “sex scandals” – Herman Cain and Justin Bieber. High placed Republicans are enamored with Bieber’s crisis management capabilities. In the face of the “baby-daddy” scandal, Bieber says unequivocally that he doesn’t know the lady and will submit to a paternity test as soon as he is back in the country. Full stop, end of story (and truly – end of story: have you heard any coverage of this lately).

Cain, on the other hand, in the face of the latest claim of sexual harassment, says he has no recollection of ever meeting the lady, and has “never acted inappropriately with anyone”. Really? Never acted inappropriately. No inappropriate comment, joke, or look. Not once. To anyone. Really? And oh yes – he’ll submit to a lie detector test, “if necessary”, maybe, sort of.

And let’s not forget – he says one of the sexual harassment claims was found to be baseless and an “agreement” was initiated as a “personnel matter”. Newsflash Herm! Sexual harassment is a “personnel matter”.

So let’s break this down. Sexual harassment is an issue of many shades. In its most minor form, it could be telling an off-color sexually oriented joke or making a flippant comment. But – someone gets offended by the joke or comment and files a complaint. Even if there was no intent to sexually harass, and as ‘innocent’ as that may sound, it is still sexual harassment. In its most egregious form, it could involve physical aggression – but typically involves a “reward” vs. “punishment” (e.g. “I’ll give you a promotion if you have sex with me” or “If you don’t have sex with me I won’t give you a raise”). And most times, the reward or punishment is only implied. Now it is true that many cases of sexual harassment boil down to he said she said. And in those cases a thorough investigation is still conducted and many things are considered – including previous patterns of behavior.

Considering the Cain facts as we know them – we have four “complaints” and one “anecdote”. And although we don’t know who the complainants are – they are not anonymous. They presumably filed their complaints to the appropriate company representative with their version of the harassing behavior.

In Cain’s defense – it is true that sometimes, figuring out what is right and what is wrong becomes an orphan to expedience. It may be cost effective to make a “token” payoff (even if that “token” seems significant) and have the issue go away – versus the expense of litigation. However, to say the pattern here is disturbing is an understatement equivalent to saying our economy is in a bit of a slow period. Even more disturbingly, the anecdote (if the accuser is credible and if it can be reasonably thought to be true) represents the most egregious form of sexual harassment. It is predatory harassment.

So, instead of Herman Cain going with the “it never happened, well something happened but it was baseless and personnel did it, but I don’t really remember just now but I might sometime so I’ll take a lie detector test someday maybe” defense – I think he should have taken to the Shaggy defense: “It wasn’t me.” At least then we’d have a catchy song running through our heads.

Getting back to Justin Bieber: the Republican Party does have a couple of issues with him as their nominee – He’s 16 (the President has to be at least 35) and he was born in Canada (not the 51^st State yet). No worries, Senator Mitch McConnell, the Republican Minority Leader said “we’re not doing anything in Washington anyway, so we may as well amend the constitution to allow teenage popstars from Canada to become the leader of the free world.”

Justin Bieber for President!

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 6 – Give My Regards to Broadway)

DEATH AT A FUNERAL

2011-04-27T13:09:00.001-07:00

4/27/11

So I spent much of last weekend at a wake and funeral. And as tough as they are, they represent a unique opportunity to reconnect with old acquaintances, engage in conversation without the incessant interruptions of the day (and by that I mean cell phones and blackberrys), meet new and great people who you unknowingly shared a connection with, and even to observe some things that may be profound and cause an epiphany. I can tell you, I experienced all of these things through the course of these services, and I’d like to spend a moment telling you about something I observed that has had a profound affect on me. In fact – so much so, that it has taken me a few days to reflect before writing about it.

It was during one of the “gap” periods between the funeral home; church; cemetery that I walked near two young girls talking with each other. I don’t know what they were discussing but the younger one (about 8 or 9) said to the older one (about 14 or 15): “This is America. You don’t have to keep your promises”. (Sound of brakes squealing; glass breaking; submarines diving) What!!?? Well….having reflected upon it – and notwithstanding my initial reaction of “no, that’s not right and that can’t be” – it definitely falls into the category of “out of the mouths of babes”. I think she nailed it.

And it really goes beyond promises. The extreme disregard for promises made is really a manifestation of a lack of integrity and a desire to say what is expedient in order to avoid conflict or disappointment. Viewed this way – it actually makes broken “big” promises more understandable than broken “little” promises. Let’s consider a big one - the promise of marriage. In most cases, it is made with all the best will in the world. And in most cases, the parties to that promise make herculean efforts to keep it. Regrettably, and in many cases, over the course of time (a lot of time usually), the promise can’t withstand the realities, and changes, of life.

Now let’s consider a little promise (and by the way – what may be “little” to the giver of the promise could be “big” to the receiver): will you fill in the blank? (come to my party; meet me for dinner; come visit me; help me move; the list goes on and on). These are not lifelong promises – this is about keeping your word; this is about being reliable – and in a relatively short term context. Now let’s admit it – you know people who make a promise like this knowing full well they won’t keep it. Or at best, knowing full well that if the slightest hiccup or barrier comes along, they’ll just send their regrets. Do you do that? Have you done that?

I remember one of the first times I witnessed this disregard for a promise while working in Unilever. I was in a business unit that was generally known to be up for sale. We needed a talented financial executive, but given that there was much uncertainty because of the potential sale – the financial executive asked for and was given (verbally – and I was there) a promise of a job should the company be sold. About 18 months later, when the deal was indeed done, the very senior leader in charge backpedalled and said: “We didn’t commit to give him the job. We committed to him that he would be a candidate for the job”. In the end, it all worked out – but I can tell you, that utter disregard for a promise made, at such a high level in the organization, contributed significantly to my decision to leave Unilever.

And there is something else that needs to be said here. I don’t think this is an American problem – I think it is a problem of modern society. Gone are the days when your word was your bond and a handshake meant you could take it to the bank. These are now the days of wordsmith-ing and spinning and double speak ambiguities (I think the most infamous being – “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”). And you know what – I, for one, don’t like it. I don’t like experiencing it, and I like it even less when I catch myself doing it (and over the past few days of reflection – I have found examples of that). So – let’s get back to those days when a promise was a promise, when we did what we said we were going to do, and we were all more reliable. And let’s be mindful of what we are teaching our children through our flagrant disregard for our own commitments.

You know, I didn’t know Dorothy all that well. I am very close with the people who were very close with her. But I did know her well enough to know that she said what she meant, and she meant what she said. I know that, no matter what, she was someone whom you could rely upon. And so, for me, it was also the unfortunate death of a person who was part of a dying breed.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 2 – The Gift and Chapter 4 – The Art of Surprise)

THE DOORS

2011-03-20T07:58:00.000-07:00

3/20/11

No matter your age, you know who they are. Although they only created their unique brand of classic rock music from 1965 to 1973, they have sold over 90 million records worldwide and were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. But did you know how they chose their name. Its genesis is a reference to a William Blake quotation: "When the doors of perception are cleansed, things will appear to man as they truly are...infinite."

But I digress. This Minute isn’t about the rock band – it’s about the “doors” we all face in life. You see, whether in matters of the heart; matters of vocation or career; or even matters of state; there exists a collection of doors in our life that are either opened or closed. And occasionally, we come to a point where we need to make a decision to open one that is closed, or close one that is opened. It appears that the United States of America is trying to close a door that it opened decades ago. The prostitution of American principles of freedom and democracy to short term gains in developing regions of the world, caused us to open the door to supporting several tyrants and dictators. Not a good door to open – and to be sure, a tough one to close. And that really is the point here: when confronting the decision to open or close a door, be sure to give that decision the thoughtfulness that it deserves. Be sure to understand the implications and to own the consequences. Because often times, once you take a decision like that – you may not be able to change it easily.

I fear I have a specific example of that. A friend of mine has been doing very well at work over the last few years. Indeed, he seems to have somewhat of a champion in his boss. Well, recently he was offered an opportunity that involved some risk and inconvenience on his part, but it was needed by the organization and by his boss. For a host of reasons – he declined. I may be wrong – but I hear the distinct sound of a big door slamming shut and a deadbolt sliding into place. Now I’m not saying that door will never open again – but if it does, it will take time. It will take quite some time. And the thing is – I don’t believe he sees that. He neither understands the implications nor owns the consequences. He doesn't realize what he has lost.

Oh yes – one other piece of advice as it relates to doors. Understand those doors that are moved based on your timing, and your timing only. In the example above, my friend really couldn’t control timing – he had to make a choice. But there are some doors that we can open or close at a timing of our choice. In those cases – my advice is always “keep your options open.” Since you may not get a “mulligan”, don’t make a decision to open or close a door until you absolutely must.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 5 – A Stitch in Time and Chapter 8 – You Always Have Choices)

Letter from Tiger to Charlie Sheen!?

2011-03-02T10:51:00.000-08:00

3/2/11

Hey Chuck,

Wow! You’ve got a lot going on in your life right now. First of all, I would be remiss if I didn’t thank you. Ever since my scandalous behavior was outed a little over a year ago, it seems that all the bad boys have turned good. I mean even John Daly has been on the straight and narrow – go figure that one. But at last, you’ve come along and taken bad boy behavior to epic proportions. Man – what a relief for me.

So is it true that you are your only advisor through this issue? Jeez I wish I had you around when I went through my ordeal. Think about it, my advisors had me apologizing to my mom in front of the whole world – and there you are demanding apologies from others. You own this bad boy lifestyle and it is working dude! Not only that – you metaphorically say that you have “tiger’s blood running through your veins” – I really do have Tiger’s blood running through my veins!

And now, here I am trying to be someone I’m not; I haven’t even come close to winning a golf tournament and my sponsors are fleeing like cockroaches when the light comes on. Meanwhile, you’re raising your own pay, getting new sponsors (loved the Naked Juice thing on Twitter), and clearly winning, winning, winning.

I hear you got some sort of advice from a book. Something about speaking your mind, staying true to yourself but doing so with humility and tact (ok – so you’ve had a couple of slips with the humility and tact thing – but it appears you’re back on track). Can you send me a copy of the book? I don’t know whether or not it’s too late for me to do a flip flop – but I sure would like to get back to those bad boy ways (you never know – if I get back to that swinging lifestyle, I might actually get my swing back and win some tournaments!).

Anyhow – gotta run. My sex addiction therapist just walked in (sex addiction therapy – really!!???. HELP ME DUDE…..).

Talk soon,

Tiger

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 2 – The Gift and Chapter 3 – Luke…Use the Force)

IT'S ALL ABOUT LEADERSHEEP!

2011-02-18T09:02:00.000-08:00

2/18/11

So it’s that time of year again. Yes – for those fortunate enough to be included, it’s “Bonus” time. The yearly results are in; the measures of success have been taken; and it’s time to spend (or save) what you’ve been counting on. But……I have noticed a disturbing trend over the last few years and this year is no different.

Several of my friends have spoken to me about being surprised, in a negative way, by their final bonus results. How can this happen? What’s going on? On one level, the answer is really easy – the goal posts are moving. The year starts with clear and measurable objectives, but over the course of the year, or sometimes even after the year is done, they get changed. And they get changed arbitrarily, often without any communication. (Now there are times that objectives should change – for example, if a salesperson is given a new account mid-year, their objectives should be revised to reflect that. But the process should be transparent and inclusive).

Notwithstanding the moving goal posts, what is really going on, at a deeper level, is a lack of integrity and leadership. And please understand, this isn’t happening in all businesses, or even in most, but it is happening in too many, and in businesses you would never expect to operate that way.

You see, in most organizations, bonus plans are controlled by a relatively small group of very senior people. And occasionally, because of the blind pursuit of results, or an inherent bias – a senior leader makes an arbitrary and unplanned adjustment. And that is precisely when their colleagues, whether alongside or working directly for them in their unit, stop practicing leadership. Leadership, in this situation, is reminding the decision maker that a commitment has been made based on good faith, that the results are the results, and that this is about integrity. Leadership isn’t about saluting a flawed decision and spinning it to your people – that’s what I call leadersheep.

A leader’s job isn’t to make an absence of integrity palatable; or to simply be a conduit for stress or unreasonable demands placed upon them by higher-ups. A leader who truly demonstrates leadership eliminates barriers their people encounter in trying to meet their objectives; they insulate their team from unreasonable stress and demands; they influence or even intervene in decisions that are flawed or just plain wrong. And if they are unsuccessful in accomplishing this, well - real leaders have an honest discussion with their people and they take steps to ensure it won’t happen again.

It’s a sad thing to say – but I think we have too many leaders, in too many organizations, demonstrating leadersheep rather than leadership. So if you are a leader, be vigilant to ensure that leadersheep doesn’t creep in to your behavior; and if you are not a leader, find a way to remind your leader what real leadership is.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 2 – The Gift and Chapter 3 – Luke…Use the Force)

ON A HOT SUMMER NIGHT.....

2011-02-01T09:44:00.000-08:00

2/1/11

In the category of little known facts – there were many hot summer nights in these newly formed United States of America leading up to 1791. And in such a puritanical society, without the benefit of polyester blends and moisture wicking fabrics, it really could be quite uncomfortable. And that’s exactly when the minor mistake that created a maelstrom was made. Yep – you guessed it. William Lambert, the Engrosser (or penman) of the Bill of Rights had a dyslexic moment – and the “right to bare arms” became the “right to bear arms”. The rest, as they say, is history.

This is, of course, ludicrous, and a fabrication of my imagination. But – I’m thinking that I should establish some special interest group to legitimize this fable. After all, it appears that is the only way to be heard by anyone. And what a sad state of affairs this is. It is completely perplexing that two fundamental tenets of America - freedom of speech and the right to bear arms - are so influenced by extremes, and operationalized to levels as ludicrous as the example above. It is also completely perplexing that our leaders, and indeed we as a society, neither have the sophistication, nor the passion, to hold to a tenet, yet make appropriate adjustments based on context and environment.

Now don’t get me wrong – I really believe those who crafted the Constitution and the Bill of Rights got it right. And fundamentally, citizens should have a right to free speech and to bear arms. But think, for a moment, about the state of world when these tenets were constructed. At best, the right to bear arms meant you could have a musket. The right to free speech meant you could say what you think to as many people as you could convince to stand around and listen to you. And in that context, the widest and broadest possible interpretation of these rights works very well indeed. But in today’s world – where the state of weapons development means that anyone can wage a “one person war”, and where one can spread the word of hate, anarchy, and incite action against their would-be target to millions of people in what amounts to the blink of an eye – well, I submit the broadest interpretation doesn’t work anymore. You know – if a business, any business, ignored such drastic changes in the context and environment of their marketplace – well that business would cease to exist (and you know there are many many examples of this).

And now we have live, real-time examples of this radically new world in which we live: Tunisia and Egypt. Notwithstanding the rule of tyranny, the lack of basic and fundamental rights; and the existence of what amounts to a police state – the new context and environment has enabled a revolution. The internet, social networking, and the media have galvanized the pent up sentiment of the masses into action. And make no mistake – when the masses motivate, and unite, change will occur.

So what is our problem? We have all of these “rights”, and the power to choose our officials – yet no one listens. How can that be? Well, to me, it seems as though passion is inversely related to the moderation of one’s viewpoint: The more moderate your view, the less your passion; the more extreme your view, the greater your passion. And therein is the genesis of special interest groups – groups that represent an extreme or a minority view. Somehow, we need to galvanize moderates – those with the popular viewpoint. It’s funny -- there is so much attention paid to "middle" America. And when our politicians refer to “middle” America, I believe they are confusing many elements (for example geography, economic strata, etc.), and ultimately use that euphemism to pander to special interest groups. We need to get our leaders and representatives to take heed of "middle of the road" America. By definition – it is the majority! But the majority of people are not collectively flexing their muscles to influence their elected representatives. And I really believe this phenomenon exists in most developed countries around the world. So wake up “middle of the road” America, Canada, England, Australia – and get your leaders and representatives to pay at least as much attention to you as they give special interest groups. And if they don’t – then vote them out, and elect those who do listen to the majority.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 2 – The Gift and Chapter 3 – Luke…Use the Force)

PALIN INDICTED FOR HATE CRIMES?

2011-01-10T06:44:00.000-08:00

1/10/11

If only it were true. I can’t tell you how much this situation angers me. And how does that anger manifest itself? Well……my pulse and blood pressure are elevated; and I am motivated to write and speak to people about it. But I don’t promote or incite hate. I don’t promote or incite violence. And I’m sure Ms. Palin would say she doesn’t either. Really? This from the woman who says “don’t retreat – reload”. Really? This from the woman who runs an ad campaign with a gun sight super-imposed over some congressional districts.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am not commenting on her political position. I am commenting on her tactics – and I view these tactics equally reprehensible, and I wish criminal, whether coming from the left or from the right.

And let’s talk “free speech” for a moment. I am a big believer in free speech – but just like we have rules for slander and libel, we should have rules for hate. Speaking or communicating in metaphors that so overtly relate to guns and shooting is so very different from expressing one’s disagreement with another person’s views or values. And what Sarah Palin and her like fail to understand is that they are not a video game, or a movie with fictional characters – they are public figures, who may even be admired. They have national and even international exposure, and were or are elected to govern. Their entire existence is devoted to influencing people – so how is it when something like what happened in Tucson occurs, they say that of course they are not responsible for the actions of others. And perhaps they are not directly responsible – but I submit there is some sort of contributing effect.

So while I wish our Attorney General had the courage to indict Palin for her role in what happened in Tucson – I know it will not happen. But….she is a villain here, and she should be vilified in the court of public opinion for her tactics. And our legislators need to set some rules so we as a society can come to grips with this issue.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 10 – A Final Word)

WATCH THE PENDULUM SWING.....TOO FAR

2011-01-04T08:50:00.000-08:00

You know it’s going to happen – because it always does. When something occurs in an organization that is illegal, abusive, or just offensive, the reaction tends to be extreme. I suspect that is precisely what will happen in the Captain O.P. Honors case. He was the second in command of the U.S.S. Enterprise (an aircraft carrier with about 6,000 service men and women on board) who, several years ago, made an over-the-top inappropriate video for broadcast to the entire crew.

It’s important to note – I am not talking about his punishment. I haven’t seen the entire, unedited video, and fortunately, netting out his punishment isn’t my decision to make (having said that – were it my decision to make, I would pay very close attention to all of the mitigating circumstances). What I am talking about is the over-arching reaction of the armed forces leadership to this type of activity. I suspect, if this practice is not “banned” altogether, there will be significant restrictions put in place.

Now, I have always posited that humor is important in the workplace. When present, it makes work much more enjoyable, it facilitates the building of strong and lasting relationships, and makes teams more effective. When humor is demonstrated by a leader, it makes the leader more human, more approachable, and more part of the team. Fundamentally, humor can serve to build trust all around. But there is a caveat: You can’t step over the line. And while it may be tricky to figure out where that line is today – the best course of action is to not get close to it.

So how unfortunate it is that humor, this wonderful trust building team building tool, will be the biggest casualty of this unfortunate circumstance. As I used to say in all of the companies I worked in when somebody stepped over the line – “let’s not re-draw the line for everybody; let’s just deal with the person who stepped over it.” In my view – this is something worth remembering when we react to all sorts of unexpected things in our work and in our lives.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 6 – Give My Regards to Broadway)

Go Ahead.....Take it! I Dare You

2010-12-23T12:53:00.000-08:00

12/17/10

I suspect you’ve done it. Taken a decision that isn’t yours to take. It’s both disconcerting and invigorating all at the same time. I was at a small holiday dinner last night and was reminded of a situation that happened to me a few years ago where I was the beneficiary of someone doing just that.

I had invited a few people to my favorite steakhouse in all the world (Del Frisco’s at 49^th and 6^th in Manhattan). Of course, I had been there many times, but it was the first time for my three guests. Everything started out perfectly – great table, service was attentive; the anticipation of great food; all the elements for a wonderful evening. The appetizers were perfect – oysters and world famous crab cakes, along with a great bottle of wine. Unfortunately – that is where the evening took a turn for the worse. The entrée orders were messed up. No big deal – easy to fix. But…..guess what? It was messed up for a second time. When I asked to see the Service Manager, I calmly explained what had happened and fully expected him to do what he was authorized to do: buy us a drink and ‘comp’ us dessert. But he didn’t do that. He stepped outside his bounds of authority. He told me that he could imagine how embarrassed I was, and that he would really appreciate it if we could do a complete do-over. He ‘comped’ us the entire meal, wine – everything; and asked us to please come back soon.

You see – too many times in our day to day lives, we are confronted with knowing what the right thing to do is, but we don’t have the authority or responsibility to make it happen (even though we have the ability). And so many times (not always - to be sure), if we just did it, if we just made it happen, well – the results are remarkable and you really set yourself apart from the herd.

That’s what happens when you are willing and prepared to take responsibility rather than wait to be given responsibility; when you are willing and prepared to ask for forgiveness rather than wait for permission.

I have been back to that steakhouse many times, with many people, since the evening above – and the manager who took care of me is still there – and thriving. For sure, he had to explain to his boss why he did what he did – but no matter, because he knew what the right thing to do was….

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter3 – Luke…..Use the Force)

I Object to the Objective

2010-12-23T12:51:00.001-08:00

12/09/10

It’s all too prevalent. What is amazing about it is that it comes at us from everywhere. CEOs; Wallstreet bankers; politicians; sports stars and teams; the list goes on and on – and we even do it ourselves. And I really don’t think that it has always been this way –

You’ve seen examples of it:

CEOs who have the objective of raising the share price of their company
Wallstreet bankers who have an objective of getting a big bonus
Republicans who want to make sure Obama is a one-term president
Sports stars who want to negotiate a landmark contract

These are all outcomes – they aren’t objectives. And I think, because of this, we lose our way. Think about it just for a minute. Let’s take the CEO example. A CEO’s objectives should be to create a healthy company: where market share, revenue, and profitability are on the rise; where, as a company, they are good community citizens; where they pay attention to health and safety, and create an environment where people want to work. If a CEO has those as objectives, and achieves them – guess what? Yep – the share price will rise (at least relative to market terms). So what’s the problem with outcomes as objectives? It leads us astray. We short circuit the true objectives to try to deliver the outcome. And you can actually see that in all of the examples above. Nothing brings this point home more than some politicians who refuse to govern and do their jobs – just because they have an objective of making the current President “one and done”.

Unfortunately as well – most of us do it ourselves. We want to keep our jobs; we want a promotion; we want more money. There is a great line in a movie I like. The actor playing the President of the United States says “I was so busy trying to keep my job, I forgot to do my job”. So let’s all remember this: Wanting an outcome to happen isn’t bad (in fact it is actually a good motivator) – but understand what objectives need to be achieved in order to make the outcome happen – and be true to those objectives.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 2 – The Gift and Chapter 5 – A Stitch in Time)

I'm All Aglow.....

2010-12-23T12:50:00.001-08:00

11/18/10

OK – as if I haven’t experienced enough delays with U.S. Customs and Border Protection: I’m flying back to NY from Toronto and finally it’s my turn to talk to the CBP Officer. We exchange pleasantries and his pager starts to beep. He looks down to his belt to check it; pushes a button; it stops for a second but then starts to beep again. I’m about to tell him “go ahead – respond if you must” and he says to me – “Have you had any medical tests lately?” Ooops! Yes. Nuclear Stress Test just over a week ago (don’t ask me why I had to have a stress test – I have no stress in my life). He shuts down his booth and tells me he needs to escort me to secondary screening. But wait – I have to catch a flight!! Well, twenty minutes later and none the worse for wear – I’m headed to my gate.

So what’s the point of all of this? Surely you’ve heard or read about the controversy surrounding the new TSA screening procedures. In many airports you either have to submit to the “peek through your clothes” X-ray machine or be subjected to a more thorough pat down. It seems that the majority of people (about 80% of those polled) are willing to accept these new protocols in the interest of safety – but those who don’t accept them are making quite a fuss. So much so that there are congressional hearings on the new procedures. This is a classic situation of what I call “sucking and blowing at the same time”. We either need to accept the intrusion of this additional means of security – or accept more risk in air travel (a well established high risk activity). And I suspect that the very same people who are saying don’t invade my privacy and don’t inconvenience me, would also say – AND – you’d better ensure my safety. You see – they want it both ways – but you can’t have it both ways. And although this definitely relates to making choices – what I really want to talk about this week is the concept of “nice and soft”. Too many people confuse and even equate nice with soft.

Entwined in this issue, I witnessed a great example of someone being nice – but definitely not being soft. It was a tape of the head of the TSA, John Pistole, being grilled by the Senate Homeland Security and Government Affairs Committee. During the questioning he was courteous, respectful, forthright, and even understanding. And when one of the members stated – you say you understand, but something tells me nothing is going to change; Mr. Pistole responded basically as follows (I’m paraphrasing a little bit) – ‘Let me be clear. I understand the issues people have with privacy both in terms of the x-rays and the pat downs. But it is my job to ensure passenger safety in a high risk environment – and the new policies we have put in place help to accomplish that and will not change.’ He was not soft or wishy-washy (think of how easy it would have been to be wishy-washy: OK Senator/Congressman, I’ll review the policies and see what changes I can make.) He was clear; he was firm; and he was nice. A great real-life model for all to emulate.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 2 – The Gift and Chapter 8 – You Always Have Choices!)

Ostrich Leadership

2010-12-23T12:44:00.001-08:00

11/10/10

No I haven’t lost it and I’m not thinking of starting an Ostrich Farm. I’m talking about the “riots” in London today over the planned tripling of tuition rates. Who is right here? And is this just a case of not managing expectations well? On its surface – for sure it is. I mean after all – who wouldn’t react in the extreme to an unplanned increase of this magnitude.

But let’s think about it a bit deeper. This crisis of the British government’s inability to subsidize (aka pay for) a system that provides a great service is not a crisis that was unpredictable. Indeed, I would suggest to you that political leaders there saw this situation coming years ago – but adopted the “Ostrich Leadership Protocol”: stick your head in the sand and hope the issue goes away. And so what you have is not so much a crisis created by not managing expectations, rather it is a crisis created by being unwilling to take a tough decision when a tough decision needed to be made.

This is completely analogous to the fiscal crisis that hit the US automotive industry. Big auto companies agreed to pension and benefit enhancements years ago that were predictably, a ticking time-bomb. But….no leader was willing to take a tough decision and deal with the issue in a timely manner. And we all know the result.

In fact, I believe that many “burning platforms”, in business; in politics; in life; and even literally in reality (the infamous Deep Water Horizon), is usually the result of Ostrich Leadership rather than an unplanned catastrophe. It is the result of a person in a position of responsibility being unwilling to make a tough choice. Instead, they become paralyzed; they rely on hope and wait for something extraneous to alter the situation. Not a good plan.

So…..Whether in your role in business, or in life – when you anticipate the approach of a “burning platform” – by all means look for solutions; engage in discussion with others who have a stake; and seek assistance. But…..if a solution isn’t evident: Don’t go Ostrich! Remember that hope is not a strategy and be prepared to make a tough choice.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 8 – You Always Have Choices!)

Let's be Intolerant of Intolerance

2010-12-23T12:41:00.001-08:00

11/5/10

Well…..do you think all the craziness is over? I really hope so – but I don’t think so. With the elections decided (well – most of them anyway), many of the politicos are now talking about “bi-partisanship” and “working together” to solve the serious problems. But will they really? Or is it just a means to an end.

It seems to me that “intolerance” has become a belief system. It’s my way or the highway. If you don’t think the way I think on a particular issue then you’re wrong and I’m right, and I’m good and you’re evil. And while it is way too prevalent throughout our society, politics has become the poster-child for intolerance. It worries me – because intolerance breeds hate, and hate is the genesis for bad things to happen. Think about this for a minute – in the entire history of the world, every single atrocity against humankind has been rooted in intolerance.

I recently went out to dinner with a good friend of mine and he told me a story about his wife and her sister-in-law being on opposite sides of a very emotional and intense issue. The issue touched their lives and one of them was put in a position of needing to make a decision based on her beliefs (it was no longer something hypothetical!). Guess what? They didn’t hate each other, they didn’t think each other evil – they agreed to disagree, and carried on. My friend told me that they are every bit as close and care every bit as much for each other as they ever did.

So why can’t our politicians, our religious leaders, and even our business leaders operate that way. They seem to have forgotten about caring and respect for each other. They seem to have forgotten that it is ok to agree to disagree. WE need to make sure that this is a requirement for any of those jobs…..

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 10 – A Final Word)

The Best Defense is a Good Offense

2010-12-23T12:38:00.001-08:00

10/27/10

What a messy NFL season huh? There is no team that is dominating, and there certainly aren’t many teams that are living up to expectations. Cowboys; Jets; Giants; Colts; Patriots (the list goes on and on) are all underperforming.

Speaking of not performing to expectations – I had occasion last week to provide some guidance and counsel to a friend of mine. He described a situation where his manager had prepared a performance summary and “ambushed” him with it. My friend went on the offensive – and provided more detail, context, and background to the manager. His manager seemingly capitulated for the most part, and even indicated they would not file the review as it had been prepared. And they all lived happily ever after right?? Not so fast.

I told him – this has all the earmarks of a “leave alone – whack!” What is a “leave alone – whack!” he asked. Weak managers (and there are far too many weak managers in the corporate world) all too often rely on the “leave alone – whack!” methodology. They sit in isolation, occasionally taking feedback from those who may have other axes to grind, and come to conclusions based on at best superficial, and often incorrect, observations. They don’t possess the courage to confront situations as they occur, and when they conduct the “ambush” – they are quick to smooth over ruffled feathers or even retreat all together – only to come along with a “whack!” at a later point in time (chances are – when it’s too late for the “whackee” to do anything about the disparagement that has occurred).

And while my friend demonstrated good offensive technique in the meeting – the offense needs to continue in order to avoid the “whack” from the weak manager. How does one do that? You need to manage the manager. You should:

· Memorialize the “ambush” meeting in detail, making sure to specify the outcomes;

· Confirm with the manager that the initial performance note will not be filed as a performance review;

· Establish with the manager that you want to be made aware, immediately, of any situations where he or she believes you have not performed to expectations; and

· Start to keep your own file

And here’s the best part – today, because of the pervasiveness of e-mail, you can do this in a seemingly informal way – yet all the while create a very effective paper trail.

So you see – a good offense isn’t just about one play or one set of downs – it needs to be sustained over the course of the whole game – until you are winning handily.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 6 – Give My Regards to Broadway and Chapter 3 – Luke, Use the Force)

Season's Greetings!

2010-12-23T12:35:00.000-08:00

10/20/10

Wait a minute – Season’s Greetings? It’s still more than a month ‘til Thanksgiving; more than two months until Christmas; Ramadan and the Jewish high holidays are a distant memory. With the upcoming mid-term US elections – ok, it’s political season – but Season’s Greetings??

Speaking of the elections -- have you watched any of the election coverage? Are you following any of the races? If you are – then you know it: What a freak show! Can someone please give me a politician who will do the right thing versus the thing that gets him or her elected; who will do what’s good for the state/country/people versus what’s good for them; who will act non-partisan versus partisan or even bi-partisan; who will work for the quiet majority versus the screaming minority; who will listen to their heart versus listen to the pollsters. Give me that politician – and I’ll give them my vote. So what do all these attributes have in common? Well, although it is a terrible indictment to say of politicians today -- these are behaviors that are unexpected. These are behaviors that would separate this politician from the herd.

OK – so what does Season’s Greetings have to do with all of this. Remember last week’s “One-in-a-Million” Minute? It was about managing expectations. Not this week. This is about doing something that is totally unexpected. You don’t expect Season’s Greetings right now. And hopefully, because you didn’t’ expect it – it became unique versus routine. (Think about it – two months from now a note with Season’s Greetings in the subject will be totally routine and mundane. So to do something unexpected – you don’t even have to think about something new – it could be all about timing).

So here is what I would like you to do: Sometime in the next week, do something unexpectedly nice for someone you care about. It could be a child, your spouse or partner, a friend or colleague (and it doesn’t have to cost money – but it does cost you thought and effort because remember – it must be unexpected). Then, pay attention to their reaction. I guarantee you – they will begin to, even more than they already do, think of you as “One-in-a-Million”.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 4 – The Art of Surprise)

Chilean Miners Rescued

2010-12-23T12:30:00.000-08:00

10/14/10

Wow – what a heartening display of human tenacity, ingenuity, and courage. All 33 miners rescued. Remember back in early August when the story was unfolding? When the miners were discovered alive yet trapped – first reports of a plan to rescue them indicated they wouldn’t be out until December!! Then, once reached (two months early!), we were told it would likely take two days to get them all to the surface. A mere day later, all 33 were safely in the hands of loved ones and aid givers.

To be sure – this is an excellent example of superior planning and execution – but it is also a remarkable example of managing expectations. The team responsible for this complex and spectacular rescue operation managed the expectations of the entire world to a fare-the-well.

Now let’s just think about this for a minute – in the current situation, the entire team, indeed anyone involved in the rescue operation, are being heralded as heroes of course, but also as incredibly skilled, competent experts. For a moment, just imagine our perspective if, even with the exact same outcome, the world were initially advised that the miners would be rescued within a month, and they didn’t get to them until October 12^th. And imagine if we were told it would take 18 hours to get them all up – yet it took 24 hours. For sure – we would have celebrated the rescuers as heroes – but we also would have thought they could have planned better, they could have executed better – because after all, they didn’t meet their self-established timelines.

This truly is managing expectations on a grand scale. And it is something we should all pay very close attention to for ourselves, in our drive to succeed and be seen as “One-in-a-Million”.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 4 – The Art of Surprise)